There was no break for me. I had to hand my fork over to Melissa and change into Cordell’s shirt. I nearly forgot to grab the walkie-talkie. I almost rushed on stage before I remembered that I first just had a voiceover. The voiceover was a little like being a narrator, so that was cool. “OK, everybody!” I say. “Would you kindly return to your lawn chairs? Please place your Dixie cups in the receptacles provided. Let’s keep Paw Paw beautiful!”
Then a few lines later I crept out of the curtains with James, holding my walkie-talkie. (The fake audience hasn’t come back yet.)
CORDELL
Vanderploonk1, we need an usher report, do you copy?
BILLY
10-4, Vanderploonk 2!
KELLI
What about that guy over there, he’s smiling and applauding!
BECKY
Vanderploonk1, we’ve got some box office overflow. Can you tell me what we’ve got left to rectify the situation?
CORDELL
Vanderploonk 2, we’re looking at two more lawn chairs, a deck chair, an inflatable tire and a sit and spin.
BILLY
Bring it on out, Vanderploonk 1.
CORDELL
That’s a copy.
BILLY
That’s a copy on your copy.
And then, after Becky and Edwina talk a little, my favorite part in the whole show: Cordell (no longer on his walkie-talkie), shouts,
WE’RE BACK!
The fake audience settles back into their lawnchairs, because obviously the real audience has been listening attentively. I join the COMPANY to sing “HERE COME MORE LETTERS, MORE LETTERS, BRING OUT THE LETTERS, THE LETTERS FOR EDWINA, WELCOME TO ACT 2…WELCOME TO ACT 2! A very timid little girl stands center stage, spotlighted, holding a letter in front of her, her knees trembling.
“You’re almost on, Harry,” I wink, “Good luck.”
“Thanks, I’ll need it!” James says. Periwinkle is reading quietly from center stage.
Austin Diamond 